Princess_B's Room

Is love worth the pain?
My heart is shattered into a millions and millions of pieces. I try to go on about my day and pretend that I live in a perfect world…but I know I don’t. I’ve stopped crying everyday now, because he is not worth my tears anymore. Every day I ask myself “Why”? How can someone be so cruel to me? After all my heart and soul I put into him, and he just threw it away, all for temptation. I know many tell me not to think about it, just leave him, or good ole’ it’ll be okay. It’s harder than most know.

How can it be okay? How can I be okay? I will never trust ANYONE ever again. It’s not fair, and I know its not, but to be burned like that isn’t fair either. It’ll never be okay, because even when I think the worse is gone, the pain will always be there lingering in the back of my mind, just waiting to creep up to me…

You would think the easiest thing is to leave him. It’s not that simple either. Please answer this…is it possible to love someone so much and hate them at the same time? That’s the feeling I have. It’s a painful feeling, and I hate him so much for putting me through this pain. I try and go on about my day…I really do….many people think “wow, I sound better”…of course I am. But the pain is still there. It will always be there. I ask myself “How can I just throw this relationship away, just as like he did” I know deep in my heart I am not a cruel mean person as he is. Only a person with a black heart can do this to someone.

He tells me he still loves me. And that he will do everything and anything in his power to win my heart back. My heart is still there…it’s just in pieces. Slowly my heart is filling with hatred. I hate him, I really do. I hate him because I can never trust anyone again. I hate him because I will be paranoid for the rest of my life. But most of all I hate him for making me fall in love with him…

Current Mood: gloomy

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